“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” - Andre Gide
Are you a good listener? How much listening do you do in a day? If there is any common sense to derive from the practice of listening it’s this; you have two ears and one mouth. Therefore, you should listen twice as much as you speak.
Pretty straight forward stuff but I can’t believe how much people just love to talk. Ever been in a conversation where it seemed like a contest as to who could get the next word in the quickest? Before you knew it the conversation wasn’t really a conversation but more like a game of “Slap Jack”, each person so anxious to slam their point down before the other.
Listening is a lost art form. Listening is crucial to the betterment and enrichment of friendships and relationships. Does not Common Sense cry out and say Shut Up when your friend or spouse is hurting and all they need is someone to listen to them? Oh, but no! When someone is hurting, that’s our cue to begin spewing forth our “Wisdom” and set them straight. We think to ourselves “Here is my chance to show someone else how much I know!” So we interrupt their broken-hearted state of being and tell them exactly what they need to do to fix their problem. But does it ever occur to us that they don’t want their problem fixed? They simply want someone to listen to them. That’s it.
I can’t think of one time where I heard someone say “Man I can’t stand that guy. You see how much he listens?”
Listening is a sign of respect. When we listen to others, and God forbid, when we have to patiently listen to others, we are showing them how much we respect them. If you are the kind of person who cannot allow others to speak their peace without interrupting them, you do not respect others. Listening could be the one last piece of evidence that we have (or had) a civilized culture.
As I have said many a time, there is nothing new here. My job is not to come up with new stuff in the realm of self-improvement. My job is to remind you of the old stuff that works. Listening works. Not only does it breed respect and show others how much you care, but it leads to success, peace of mind and it just feels good to remove the pressure of having to get the last word in on every conversation.
Going to work? Better learn to listen. Your boss is not likely to promote you because you like to run your mouth all day. Your boss wants to know that you only need to be told once and once only as to what is expected from you. You can’t learn anything when you’re talking!
Want a successful marriage? Better learn to listen. You and your spouse are likely to disagree on matters more often than you agree but if you feel you need to prove yourself to be right with your many words; your marriage will more than likely dissolve.
Want a great relationship with your kids. Oh my God, you need to listen to them. Just because you’re the parent doesn’t mean they don’t have anything important to say. All too often I see parents who treat their kids like second class citizens who don’t deserve to be heard. Your kids, no matter how young, are entitled to your closed mouth and open ears.
Want to stop having to do everything over and over and over again? Shut up, listen and learn. If you find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over again it’s quite possible you haven’t taken the time to shut the trap and open the holes on the sides of your head. Listen to some good advice. Ask questions but be willing to listen to answers. Go back to the old stuff that works. Just start listening and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can correct your mistakes. Even better, you’ll notice that you make fewer mistakes!
“Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise: and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” – Proverbs 17:28 (American King James Version)
Pretty straight forward stuff but I can’t believe how much people just love to talk. Ever been in a conversation where it seemed like a contest as to who could get the next word in the quickest? Before you knew it the conversation wasn’t really a conversation but more like a game of “Slap Jack”, each person so anxious to slam their point down before the other.
Listening is a lost art form. Listening is crucial to the betterment and enrichment of friendships and relationships. Does not Common Sense cry out and say Shut Up when your friend or spouse is hurting and all they need is someone to listen to them? Oh, but no! When someone is hurting, that’s our cue to begin spewing forth our “Wisdom” and set them straight. We think to ourselves “Here is my chance to show someone else how much I know!” So we interrupt their broken-hearted state of being and tell them exactly what they need to do to fix their problem. But does it ever occur to us that they don’t want their problem fixed? They simply want someone to listen to them. That’s it.
I can’t think of one time where I heard someone say “Man I can’t stand that guy. You see how much he listens?”
Listening is a sign of respect. When we listen to others, and God forbid, when we have to patiently listen to others, we are showing them how much we respect them. If you are the kind of person who cannot allow others to speak their peace without interrupting them, you do not respect others. Listening could be the one last piece of evidence that we have (or had) a civilized culture.
As I have said many a time, there is nothing new here. My job is not to come up with new stuff in the realm of self-improvement. My job is to remind you of the old stuff that works. Listening works. Not only does it breed respect and show others how much you care, but it leads to success, peace of mind and it just feels good to remove the pressure of having to get the last word in on every conversation.
Going to work? Better learn to listen. Your boss is not likely to promote you because you like to run your mouth all day. Your boss wants to know that you only need to be told once and once only as to what is expected from you. You can’t learn anything when you’re talking!
Want a successful marriage? Better learn to listen. You and your spouse are likely to disagree on matters more often than you agree but if you feel you need to prove yourself to be right with your many words; your marriage will more than likely dissolve.
Want a great relationship with your kids. Oh my God, you need to listen to them. Just because you’re the parent doesn’t mean they don’t have anything important to say. All too often I see parents who treat their kids like second class citizens who don’t deserve to be heard. Your kids, no matter how young, are entitled to your closed mouth and open ears.
Want to stop having to do everything over and over and over again? Shut up, listen and learn. If you find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over again it’s quite possible you haven’t taken the time to shut the trap and open the holes on the sides of your head. Listen to some good advice. Ask questions but be willing to listen to answers. Go back to the old stuff that works. Just start listening and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can correct your mistakes. Even better, you’ll notice that you make fewer mistakes!
“Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise: and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” – Proverbs 17:28 (American King James Version)
Tommy
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