Step Aside

In order to let someone experience success, you must be willing to let them experience failure. To be supportive of someone in their ventures means you cannot take over and do everything for them. By allowing them to do it on their own you are allowing them to become creative, resourceful and responsible. When we rob someone of this experience we literally stunt their growth and cause them to become dependent and fearful of stepping out and facing new challenges. Whether it's our children, our family members or our friends, we must be willing to step aside and let others learn for their own benefit. How can anyone ever grow if someone else is doing all the living for them?

I Quit!

Ever had one of those days where nothing goes your way?
No? Then what planet are you from?
We've all had those days where no matter what we do, we just keep making matters worse. And as much as we know that we had better just stop what we're doing and cut our losses, we don't. We just keep going, making a bigger mess of things, convinced that if we try JUST ONE MORE TIME, we'll FINALLY get it right.
But much to our chagrin, it all goes to trash once more.
Does this sound to you as though I may be contradicting my principles of "Hard work pays off" or "If you fail, get up and try again"?
Fear not loyal readers, I am about to explain.
There is an old Chinese Proverb that says, "Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best."
But I am more inclined to think like W.C. Fields when he said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it." 
You see, there really is no shame in quitting, once you have given your best effort.
Ah, there it is. That's where my Personal Responsibility, Personal Accountability and Common Sense mantra all come together. 
Let's face it, there will be things that no matter how much effort you put in, you're not going to succeed. That is when it's time to say, "I'm done." 
Now, in case you're of the mindset that believes anyone-can-do-anything-they-want-so-long-as-they-have-a-positive-attitude, allow me to burst your bubble.
You can't do any-thing you want no matter how positive an outlook you have. We may all have certain gifts, traits and skills, but none of us can do everything. The only person who can hold that job is God, and he really doesn't need your help keeping it all together.
Oh, and don't trust the Ra-Ra, Pep-Talk Speakers and Authors who say you can do anything and everything either. They are the people who love to blow smoke up your skirt and make you feel invincible. But after the smoke clears and you're back to reality, you realize that the only thing you were able to do is line their wallets.
It really comes down to this, "Know When To Quit." Plain and simple.
In knowing when to quit, we allow ourselves to learn from our mistakes and failures, just as I have always said one should do, and it teaches us to trim away the distractions.
For example, if I think that I can be a great artist and I spend all my time painting crap, then I am chasing after an empty dream where had I not been distracted by such an unrealistic goal, I could have turned my energies toward a more obtainable goal and achieved success.
So when I say, know when to quit, I am not endorsing a defeatist approach to life's opportunities and challenges. I am endorsing a realistic approach to life's opportunities and challenges. Each and everyone of us can do something grand, but none of us can do everything grand.
Know yourself, know your strengths and know your weaknesses. And most of all know when to cut your losses. If you have invested 100% effort to the task at hand and are not receiving a balanced return on your investment, you need to cut your losses and move on. But only after you have invested 100%.
For those of you thinking I have just given you a green light to quit anything and everything that might be making your life uncomfortable, not so fast. This is not a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card or an excuse to quit something you just don't want to do. No, no. It needs to go through the Tommy Filter.
Answer these questions (and for God's sake, be honest);
Do I want to quit because I am not getting a proper return on my investment?
Do I want to quit because I am lazy?
That's it. Two questions. Answer them truthfully and you might be surprised to find out that the things you need to quit are not the things you want to quit and the things you want to quit are not the things you need to quit.
Let me offer this final thought on the matter; when quitting is an attitude it's a bad thing. When quitting is a necessity, it is a good thing. Learn to recognize the difference and you will find yourself more likely to succeed in your ventures.

The Positive Side Of Failure

"Failure is an event not a person." - Zig Ziglar
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to recall our failures? More often than not our failures stand out in our minds more vividly than our successes.
Humiliation, fear, and guilt are just a few of the emotions linked to failure, so is it any wonder we never forget how it feels when we blow it?
All too often failure is credited as being something to avoid at all costs. New ideas, new methods, new risks and new situations all create a slight tinge of apprehension in all of us. Why? Because we're afraid that if we step out into anything beyond that which is familiar to us, we will fail.
And to that I say, so what? The older I get the more I realize that failure is not as awful as we think it to be.
Unless if course you're skydiving and your parachute fails to open.
But that's neither here nor there.
The question is simple; without failure how can we ever succeed? Without failure how can APPRECIATE success?
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan
I've referred to that quote before, but it bears repeating.
Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time, tells us point blank that failure is the impetus to success. We must dare to succeed but in order to do so we must be willing to risk and accept failure and the lessons to be learned from it.
For those who have achieved great success in life, failure was their teacher, a mentor that reminded them of what TO do and what NOT to do the next time around.
For others failure is their excuse, their crutch as to why they have not achieved success.
Successful people have recognized that failure is not permanent but rather a moment in time. Unsuccessful people have allowed a momentary failure to become permanent.
But it doesn't have to be.
Failure is an event all of us will experience. It happens. But who said it has to keep you down for good? Think of how many times you fell down when you were a baby learning to walk. If you were to have said, "Eh, what's the point, I'm just going to fall down again," you'd be dependent upon everyone to carry you! Pretty ridiculous to think of a grown adult that still needs to be carried everywhere, right? Well, I happen to think it's pretty ridiculous for grown adults to sabotage their success in life for fear of failure.
Your life is the result of what you have invested into it. Much like any successful financial investor, they took the risk and it paid off.
So what about it? Can you really look at yourself and say, "I just can't risk failing. I am better off struggling to get by in life. It's what I know and it's all I know."
Don't let failure steal another moment of your life. Take action, move towards your goal and if you fall down, learn from it.
Failure is a great instructor. And the best part about it is it's free. It doesn't charge by the hour and it doesn't make you sign a contract. It just shows up and says, "Nope! That's wrong. Try again."
Remember that the next time you blow it. (Because you will blow it at some point.)
Now go out there and take a few risks you big chicken!

Living In Spite Of Fear

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
To me that speaks to the very heart of how to reach your dreams and goals. Seldom do the things we really want in life come without some sort of resistance. Whether it's a confrontation with another person, taking a stand for something, promoting yourself, or having to set foot in unfamiliar settings, we all have to face fear one way or another on our path to success.
But as strong an emotion as fear is, it can only be as strong as you allow it to be. Feed it and it will become bigger and bigger. Starve it and it will become smaller and smaller. We feed our fears by dwelling on the worst-case scenario of a given situation. We starve our fears by dwelling on the best-case scenario of a given situation.
But there is one thing fear can never defeat and that is the person who has decided within them self to do what ever they need to do, afraid.
Sometimes situations arise and we have no choice but to go through them. Sometimes life demands from us when we are at our most vulnerable. No matter the situation, we will need to go through it afraid.
There are no sure-fire ways to completely remove fear from our lives. We will all have our fears until the day we die. It's just our nature. But fear doesn't have to be our master. As long as we are in control of our thoughts and our attitudes, we can decide the amount of power we will give to our fears and we can have a strong say in the outcomes of any situation.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear" - Ambrose Redmoon
So what are you afraid of? What fears do you need to face in order to achieve your goals?
Do what you have to do - even if you have to do it afraid.

Past, Present and Future

"Never look back unless you are planning to go that way." - Henry David Thoreau
Human nature compels us to carry our past into our present.
But in doing so, we fail to realize that it prevents us from embracing our future.
Learn from yesterday and live for tomorrow.

On The Job

Do you work alongside lazy people?
Since no one really likes a snitch,  and more and more Managers and Supervisors would prefer to be their employee's Buddy rather than their Boss these days, then consider this: Lazy co-workers will automatically cause you to stand out as a hard worker if you simply do the job you were hired to do.
Mind your own business, do your job, and don't spend your time groveling about how useless your co-workers are. Let their actions speak instead of pointing them out to others.
Spending your time talking about them and ratting them out will only bring you down to their level and ruin your reputation as an individual of integrity.
(This article was inspired by my Beautiful Wife - Thanks Babe!)

A Quick Thought On Giving

We're all capable of doing something nice for someone. Doing something nice is actually quite easy.
The hard part is making sure our motives are in check.
Superficial niceties are a waste of everyones time.
A pure motive that can only give a little is much better than an insincere motive that gives much.

Short And Brief

A thought - and what better place to post it?
Consider this....
"I can't. It's too hard."
Translation: "I won't. I'm too lazy and unwilling to invest the time and effort."
If you say you can't, you won't. Meanwhile those who say "I will" are those who can and do.
They are the ones who will be enjoying the successes you will be wishing for.

Asleep At The Wheel

Ever had this happen to you? You're driving along in your car, it's a boring drive, you're tired from a long day and your eyes begin to feel heavy....you roll down the window and let some fresh air in but it does little good.
Sleepy as you are, you're determined to just get to your destination. All of a sudden your head bobs forward and you feel as though you had dreamt the whole experience. Heart pounding, hands sweaty, and all of your senses in overdrive, you cant believe it but you had just fallen asleep at the wheel and thank God, you didn't get killed. Or worse yet, you didn't kill someone else.
Now some of you might not know what I'm talking about here but where I come from many of our highways and freeways have the "washboard shoulder". It's there for one reason. If you're driving along and you lose attention or nod off, as you veer off the road and onto the shoulder, the grated surface causes a whole lot of commotion and noise so as to shake you back to attention.
I hope you can see where I'm going with this.
For many of us, asleep at the wheel is not about driving. It's about day to day living.
It's about ruts, routines and all that stuff we do each and every day on Auto Pilot.
It's about all the things we take for granted, be it our jobs, our spouses, our health, even our very own lives.
Just the fact that we got up and out of bed today and were able to walk and talk and see and touch and hear and feel; all these things and more that we don't even give a nanosecond of thought to. This is what I call Asleep At The Wheel.
Are you asleep at the wheel? Are you on Auto Pilot more often than not?
If you got up today and went about doing the same thing you did yesterday, the day before that and the day before that there's a good chance you're on Auto Pilot.
When was the last time you thought about what you're doing?  Better yet, when was the last time you were AWARE of what you were doing? Better YET, when was the last time you were aware of YOURSELF?
When was the last time you were aware of others???
It all comes down to this: you say you want change in your life. You say you want more in your life. You want to earn more money, you want to be in better health, you want more free time,  you want to be better looking (for some of you anyway, you SHOULD be wanting this).
My point is this; when are you going to do something about it?
(okay, so it's more of a question than an actual point, but you get my drift).
As far as I can see you're so deeply entrenched in your ruts and routines, it would take an earthquake to break you loose.
Wake up!!
Does it really take driving off onto the shoulder to get your attention?
If you're not where you say you want to be then it's time to stop hitting the snooze bar and WAKE UP.
Create an awareness and an appreciation for everything that's good in your life (translation: count your blessings!).
Stop taking your life for granted and start taking actions that will improve your life. Learn something new every day, do something new everyday, keep your mind active and sharp. Turn off the Auto Pilot and fly manually.
No one ever did something of great significance while they were sleeping and neither will you.
Wake up!
You can sleep all you want when you're dead.

Misery Loves Company

...but it hates being told to shut up and get over it!
We all have our problems. It's human nature to want everyone to know our problems. Deep down we want someone to tell us  that it's tough for everyone in this great big world.
We enjoy one-upping each other with our problems. "You think you have it bad?! That's nothing. Listen to this!"
We commiserate with one another, burying ourselves in a grave of depression together and yet in all our "venting", no one comes out any better for it. In fact we come out worse. Broken down, deflated and dejected.
Now don't get me wrong. There are many of us who have real problems and face these challenges day after day after day with seemingly no light at the end of the tunnel. I am not diminishing the reality or potential severity of your problems. I am however suggesting that we reconsider our methods of dealing with them.
What makes you think that the reverse-glorification of your problems will ever allow you to conquer them? What makes you think that by keeping company with others who do the same will allow you to ever achieve any kind of success in life?
When we gravitate toward others who love to excuse life's challenges by blaming it all on the cold, cruel world, we sabotage ourselves nearly to the point of no return.
But there is a better way. Many of you won't like this better way. Many of you will think I am an uncaring, heartless machine.
But that's not the case. Much like a hysterical person who needs to be slapped in order to "Snap out of it" so too do we need a proverbial slap when we are in the midst of our woeful rants.
That's where I come in. That's where I say "Get over yourself."
I didn't say "Get over IT."
I said "Get over YOURSELF."
"You self righteous jerk! What do you know about me and my problems?!"
Okay, you're right. What do I know? After all there is no way for me to really know all the specifics to everyone's troubles. But I do know this; problems never get better by throwing extravagant pity parties with others who simply have no desire to better themselves.
The company you keep will either bring you up or drag you down.
There's an old proverb that simply says, "You may know a man by the company he keeps."
So ask yourself; is it time for some new company?
Are your friends & family encouraging you to keep going in spite of your obstacles? Do they ever tell you to quit your whining? If not, then you need new company.
If your coworkers would rather have you join them in a gripe session about the latest company gossip rather than letting you get to work, you need new company.
If the people you know have always nodded and put their arms around you saying, "There, there. It's not your fault you're a mess," then you need new company!
I can guarantee you that the more you surround yourself with successful, goal oriented people, the more goal oriented and successful you will be. Just as misery loves company so too does success love company.
Negative people beget negative company. Positive people beget positive company.
In your quest for improvement I urge you to put this principal to the test. You will be amazed at how quickly things will begin to improve by simply following this one simple rule.
So what are you waiting for? Get out there and start making some new company!
You can thank me later.

Never Quit

Yesterday I spoke of how to move mountains by carrying away small pieces at a time. The ability to stay focused and disciplined each and every day, by taking small yet consistent actions will ultimately lead to success in our endeavors. The ability to overcome our challenges and problems will always be easier when we break them down into small, manageable pieces and solve them one at a time.
But the one thing that all of us have to face on our path to success is the temptation to quit.
Now we all have a different idea of what success is in each of our lives. For some it's simply to get a better job. For others it's to be the founder and C.E.O. of a new multi-million dollar business. Maybe you want to lose 5 pounds in a month. Whatever your endeavor, whatever your goal, it will require discipline, focus and consistency. And yet these three traits will forever be at odds with the temptation to give up before reaching your goals.
You see the temptation to quit doesn't just show up and say "Hey, quit it!" Nope. It shows up real subtle-like and whispers in your ear, "You can sleep in. Go ahead and skip your morning exercise today. You deserve a break. It's just one day, no big deal, right?"
Wrong! That's when it happens. That spirit of quitting sneaks in and says "Take it easy today because you can make up for it tomorrow."
But "tomorrow" never comes. Oh sure, a new day begins, but that one day of ease, leads to two days and then three and then a week and then a month and before you know it, you have given up and given in. And you didn't even realize it until it was too late.
So now what? Well, first of all go and stand in front of the mirror and blame the idiot staring back at you because it's nobody's fault but theirs. Translation: it's your fault dummy.
Next, take responsibility for your lack of discipline, pick yourself up and get back on track. Don't waste your time with the "How could I have been so lazy? How could I have let this slide? How could I have been so stupid?" Get over your stupid self and move forward.
I like what Paul Harvey said. "Someday I hope to enjoy enough of what the world calls success so that someone will ask me, 'what's the secret of it?' I shall say simply this: 'I get up when I fall down.'"
Being successful doesn't require that we be special or gifted or unique people. It doesn't require any super powers. You don't need to be anything except who you are right now with a goal and the mindset to never quit.

Mountains = Small Stones

“The man who moved a mountain was the one who began carrying away small stones.” – Chinese Proverb.
You know something, I really like this quote. Why? Because it truly hearkens to so much of what I have come to believe. Every day I see so many examples of people who will never get what they say they want because they never get up and do something about it.
The point that I am trying to make is simple; if you say you want something, then start to do something.
Notice I didn’t say “If you say you want something, then you better make sure you get it done now or you’re a failure.”
Bear with me here and allow me to explain.
Moving a mountain is a great analogy to the successes we desire in our lives. Good health, great wealth, a loving spouse, well behaved children; these desires come about by making constant yet small investments.
I can prove it.
Want good health? An average, able bodied person who exercises 30 minutes a day will be healthier than one who does not. What’s 30 minutes out of your day? That’s 1/48^th of your day. Get up a half hour earlier and there you go.
Want great wealth? An individual, who starts saving $60 a month at 20 years old, with a 5% interest rate, will have saved $121,272.42 when they are 65 years old.
Want to be rich while you’re still young? Well, since there are as many ways to be rich as there are millionaires, this one can only be summed up by saying “Do something each and every day.”
Take a step towards your goal each and every day and chances are you’ll get there. Small, consistent steps with unwavering focus will take you to where you want to be.
Want a loving spouse? Be willing to do for them what you would like them to do for you. Remember the Golden Rule? Well consider the fact that there are a lot more perks to this one when you’re married.
Want well behaved kids? Try spending time with them. Get interested in what they are interested in. Get them interested in what you’re interested in. Listen to them when they talk. Model the behavior and values you want them to exhibit. Doesn’t take a lot to show your kids right from wrong and as long as you are consistent each and every day, those small investments will pay off.
You know something? We can complicate our lives just as easily as we can achieve great success in our lives. Complicating things is nothing more than a consistent investment of negative influences, poor decisions and bad habits. Success is nothing more than consistent investments of positive influences, good decision making skills and good habits.
Small stones. Remember that. When things appear too large to handle, just remember small stones.
Pick one up. Carry it away. Repeat.

Get over yourself

Well, I blew it. In fact I blew it big time.
For all my preaching of personal responsibility, last night I went and threw my own beliefs and principals right out the door. Yep. I am ashamed to admit it but I over drank and became extremely drunk and belligerent.
To top it off, I became extremely sick at my hosts home and in my friends truck.
Now I ask you, how can I be such a hypocrite? I lecture on the need for everyone to take responsibility in all areas of their life, yet in one evening I threw it all away and failed to live by my own code of conduct and ethics. What do I do now?
Regardless of the fact that I was an absolute idiot last night, I need to get over it. Gracious as my friends were to forgive me of my actions I still carry a lot of guilt and shame. But what good is it doing me? Here's the deal; I am not condoning my behavior nor am I making excuses for it. I screwed up. Big time. But in the aftermath, despite my incredible hangover, I had a long conversation with God, my "Come to Jesus" moment if you will. I laid it all out, I shed my tears, I made my peace. I called my friends and asked for their forgiveness. They forgave me. I asked my wife for her forgiveness. She forgave me.
What to do now? I need to get over it.
If I carry this around it will prevent me from ever being able to get back on track and refocus on my goals. I have to realize that I am not perfect, and I need to learn from my stupidity. I also have to make sure that I don't take it so lightly that I repeat that stupidity.
Getting back on track quickly is the best thing anyone can do after screwing up. And remember, everyone screws up.
Allow yourself to forgive yourself. Get over it and get over yourself.

Why And How

When we really, truly understand the "Why" to do something, the "How" to do something becomes insignificant. Case in point, the Doctor tells you you need to quit smoking. Although you've tried to quit time and time again, that thirty year old habit just never got broken. Now you have a whole new "Why" to quit smoking. You have emphysema. All of a sudden, "How" to quit smoking doesn't seem so tough anymore. You just do it.
Sad as it is we are a population that needs to have a "Come to Jesus" moment before we ever do something of a challenging manner.
You want to know what I think? Well you're reading this so your answer must be a "Yes."
I think we need to quit making excuses and do something as soon as a need arises. Better yet, before a need arises. We need to understand that we are always going to have a "To Do" list. Actually I think we need to ditch the "To Do" list and make it a "To Get Done" list. "To Do" leads to procrastination. "To Get Done" leads to get off your butt and get busy. But I digress.
Despite the severity of what needs to be done, we need to quit saying "I don't know how I am going to get that accomplished." We need to understand that the "Why" behind it is what matters. No matter how little or how big that "Why" is, the "Why" is the motivator. Not the "How". Getting hung up on the "How" only leads to putting things off because we feel like we aren't capable of achieving our goal. It also leads to excuses. And I hate excuses.
We can come up with a million reasons as to not being able to accomplish something but it's only after we recognize the "Why" of the matter that we ditch the excuses and get moving. Even if we don't know "How" to do something, so long as we do something, and keep going, the "How" usually surfaces and before you know it, we've accomplished the very thing we said we couldn't.

What's On Your Mind?

It's been said that thinking is the greatest torture in the world for most people and I can honestly say, I believe that to be true. One of the biggest keys to success is the ability to think, yet look around and you will see people who all but exist on this planet with absolutely no desire to think about their actions, their future or others for that matter.
They go to a job that asks very little of them and then they complain because they are paid very little. They demand higher wages yet when the boss asks them to come up with suggestions or solutions that could lead to improvements they are incapable of thinking of new ideas. The very notion of having to think of something original leaves them scared and helpless.
Go to any shopping mall and within ten minutes you will witness the absolute zenith of non-thinking. People who willingly hand over their maxed out Credit Cards to store clerks in order to purchase another item that they don't need, all because the item was on sale for 20% off. If they were able to think it through, they would see that the 20% they saved, won't help them out when the other 80% winds up on their Credit Card at 19% interest. Combine that with the fact that the likelihood of them paying off that Card when the bill comes due is slim to freakin' none, they'll most likely be paying for that Deal Of A Lifetime Item for another 5 years. So much for saving 20%.
For many, thinking is something they want to be told how to do. And that's okay. The world needs Box Movers too.
Wake up people. You can no longer afford not to think for yourself. This is where the Personal Responsibility slant comes in by the way. Take responsibility for your actions, your future and yes take responsibility for the way you treat others. You are not here to drift along aimlessly with no thought, no care and no responsibility. Cultivate an awareness of where you are what you are doing each moment of your waking day. Everything you do will bring consequences, either good or bad, so take the time to think things through. Have a plan, have a goal. Even if you're doing nothing more than going to the store for a gallon of milk, think it through.
And since everything in life has to be balanced, let me be the first to say, that over thinking can be just as bad, if not worse, then not thinking at all. Over thinkers have a tremendous talent for getting nothing done while still seemingly busy. All that time invested into planning and thinking and studying and thinking and discussing and thinking gets nothing accomplished. It wastes my time and yours.
Balance it out. Be a thinker. Educate yourself. Create your very own opinions and priorities in life and learn to express them without harming others in the process.
Learn to think while on the job. Don't wait to be told what to do. Cultivate that awareness and think of ways to improve your job and the company you work for. Thinking leads to initiative, and initiative, if practiced over and over, will ultimately pay off.
Your brain is a muscle and the only way you can keep it in shape is to use it. Keep your mind sharp and you will see all those limitations in your life begin to diminish. Thoughts lead to actions and actions lead to results. The results you desire are obtained solely based on your ability to just think.

Who's Raising Your Kids?

Parents are on the alert! They are crying out against marketers who are pushing sexuality onto our young teenagers (aka, “tweens”). These parents are claiming that suggestive marketing is pressuring our precious little girls to grow up faster than they need to. They say our helpless little girls have no power over these dark forces and are falling victim to peer pressure without the ability to decipher right from wrong.
Is it just me or is it completely backwards that these parents are crying out against the evil media while they should be spending more time with their kids? On an average, parents spend about 3 minutes a day in actual conversation with their kids. Is it any wonder that our kids are turning to other sources for direction? Parents keep allowing their kids to be raised by the Television as opposed to spending real quality time with them, but they become outraged when their kids begin to emulate what they are seeing.
Here’s an idea; if you have a problem with the media influencing your kids, turn of the TV and start having actual human contact with your kids. Why don’t you set the example of how they should live as opposed to them learning it from the Kardashians? Why don’t you teach them the difference between right and wrong as opposed to them getting it from another rerun of Married with Children?
These are your kids people. Not your cat or your dog or your fish. Your children. These are the people who get to run this country and vote and take care of you when you’re old. Do you want your children to be mindless idiots or do you want them to be thinking, contributing adults someday? Do you want a relationship with your children or do you just want them to grow up and move out?
The choice is yours. If the media have their sights set on your children, turn off the TV and interact with your kids. Be the parents.
They need you. And the day is going to come, when you’ll need them.

Reaping and Sowing

How often do you think twice when you're about to make a decision? How often do you really consider the consequences of your decisions? If hindsight is 20-20, then what is foresight? For many of us foresight is simply, "Eh, whatever."
And then people say, "Why is my life such a mess?"
Well, if more of us considered our decisions with just a little more scrutiny, we might find ourselves reaping the benefits of better decision making. Every decision we make today adds up to the quality of life we live tomorrow. Consider your decisions through the course of your day as a piece to a puzzle. Each decision you make contributes to the completion of the puzzle (your overall quality of life). The cool thing is, you have the power to choose what the Puzzle will look like when completed. If your puzzle is coming together and looking like a disaster scene, then you get to decide whether or not you want to change it. Notice I said want to change it.
Your decisions lead to your rewards or consequences (Translation: you reap what you sow). If you are feeling more consequences than rewards, only you can decide to make change.
The whole point to Sowing and Reaping is simply so we can predetermine what our return will be for every action we take. It doesn't take 4 years of College to know that if you sow a tomato seed you will yield a tomato plant. Common Sense should tell you that if you invest your money into an account that pays interest, you will have more money a year from now than what you started with. It should be no surprise that if you exercise on a regular basis, you will be be stronger and healthier.
But let's look at the flip side - If you sow a pack a day habit of smoking cigarettes, you will likely reap cancer or emphysema. If you sow the habit of over-eating and not exercising, you will be overweight and out of shape. If you overspend you will be broke. Pretty simple and hopefully, pretty obvious.
If we just took the time to think twice about our decisions and considered the potential outcomes, we might, at the very least, be less inclined to follow through with our impulses and need for instant gratification. Now, I am not suggesting that we should form committees and deliberate over every single decision for hours at a time. I am suggesting that you simply think twice. Consider the possible outcomes for each decision you make. If your decision is geared toward a better tomorrow then chances are, you're making a good decision. But no matter what decisions you face just remember; You reap what you sow.

Giving

"No person was ever honored for what he received. He was honored for what he gave." - Calvin Coolidge
Giving can be one of the hardest things we'll do in life. Giving our money, our time and our resources can be challenging especially when we seem to have so little of each. But giving, no matter what religious or experiential history we have, is still one of the most important things we can do in life. Giving creates a flow in our own lives while it benefits our recipients. If our fists are too tight to let go of the money we hold, then we clog the flow of our own ability to receive. We cause a dam and then we suffer because we feel we need to keep every single penny we get. We actually diminish our ability to receive more. Now I am not speaking in mystical, hocus-pocus, uber-spiritual terms here but I am saying that no matter what you think, when you give, it finds a way to come back to you.
If money is too tight then consider your time and energies. Can you give 15 minutes to an elderly neighbor who just wants to talk? Can you give blood? Can you give something you own to a needy individual? Get up and walk around your house. There has to be at least ONE thing that you could give that would make SOMEONES day.
And think about how good it feels to give. That in itself is a reward like no other.
Even when teaching my own children about money and finances I tell them to follow the 10-10-10-70 rule. Save 10%, Invest 10%, GIVE 10% and the rest you keep and do with as you see fit. Incorporate giving into your everyday life and you will notice your stress levels going down, your happiness going up and your overall view of life improving. Giving allows us to get out of our own way and instead of fixating on our problems we look at helping someone else. The best way to solve our own problems is to help someone else solve their problems.
I challenge you to consider what you can give today. Remember, it's common sense and it's contagious. Make it a part of your everyday life and see if you don't inspire others to do the same.

I Feel Good!

"The real secret to success is to feel happy every second"

Law of Attraction

I came across this quote and after I finished gagging, I decided that I need to do some bubble bursting. I know there is a mindset that says "feeling good" is all that matters. Sorry, but to that I say bull crap. Success is seldom about feeling GOOD. Success is generated by hard work. And for those of us who have come to an end of "feeling good", we realize we have been nothing more than irresponsible, done stupid things, made dumb mistakes and basically created a giant mess of our lives. So much for feeling good. If you want true success, you're going to have to feel pretty bad before you're going to feel good. You're going to have to shed some tears, feel some epic remorse and get busy turning things around. Only after we feel bad about ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves do we ever accomplish any success for ourselves. I am not saying we need to carry our burdens around and live in a perpetual state of penance, but I am saying we need to face our mistakes. Living an irresponsible life of care free, feel good indulgences will only lead to destruction. Congratulations to you if you woke up and realized your folly. Be angry with yourself, feel ashamed. But then, get over it and move on. Work on fixing your mess, create a goal and get busy. If you can stick it out you will reap the benefits of your labor. At that point, you can look at yourself and say, "I feel good!"

Get Rich Slow!

How many of you want to be rich? Great!
So what are you doing about it?
Look at that, not even two sentences in and I am going into the "Personal Responsibility" spiel.
Before you start to moan and groan about the fact that, once again, you need to work in order to get what you want in this life, let me remind you that when it comes to "Rich", very few will ever experience it. And even fewer will get rich quick. Ask any Millionaire and they will tell you it all came from hard work, long hours and lots of sweat.
Those who became rich quickly either won the lottery or cashed in on a windfall of some sort. For those of you who play the lottery in hopes of achieving great wealth, you are idiots. Your odds of winning the "Big One" are as good as the odds of getting hit by lightening on a beautiful sunny afternoon. I don't really care if you want to waste your money on lottery tickets, that's your decision. But if you're running down to your local convenience store and dropping your Government Assistance Check on the next Powerball drawing, then you are an idiot AND a leech on society. Get off of your butt and get a job!! Able-bodied individuals taking handouts from the Government, and then gambling with them, should be ashamed of themselves.
For the individual holding out for Gramma or Grampa or Momma and Papa to kick the bucket so they can cash in on the will, you are an idiot. A selfish, self-centered, evil idiot.
The mindset here has been exaggerated by Hollywood in a number of films but the reality is there are people out there who, though they won't admit it, are doing the bare minimum with their lives while waiting on the lump of cash that's "Entitled" to them from the passing of their parents or relatives. This not only makes me angry but physically ill. Again, shame on you.
While getting rich is something that most would not object to being, there is still the hurdle of the "How" in getting rich. For most, "Rich" isn't something that just happens to them (unless they are born into great wealth). As I said, ask any Millionaire or anyone with abundance, and they will tell you it was hard work. There's that word again: Work.
Few things ever come easy and wealth is certainly one of the hardest things to obtain because we simply don't want to sacrifice and put in the effort and energy to achieve great amounts of it.
But that's just it; if you want wealth, you have to get rid of something else. You have to give something up in order get something else.
Example - you want more money? You have Give Up TV Time in order to Get A Second Job.
Money is not complicated and neither is wealth, but so many of us sacrifice our tomorrow's success for today's ease. We risk little and receive little. So many times I hear the grumblings of those who have very little ripping apart those who have very much. The overall impression is that the Rich are evil, insidious individuals who sold their own mother out in order to obtain their wealth. Very seldom do I hear someone say, "I admire that person for working so hard to obtain their wealth. I want to model their example and do the same."
"Rich" carries a lot of negative connotations and yet, everyone of us still wants to be rich. Am I the only one who thinks this nuts?
It isn't until the rubber meets the road that those of us who WANT to be rich and those of us who WILL be rich, part company.
Those of us who will be rich will also be the ones who will work harder than ever before. They will sacrifice, they will have less free time, they will be busy learning new things, reading books, listening to experts and modeling their mentors. They will lose sleep, they will go to seminars, they will invest their money wisely, they will have a focus on the future with very specific and written goals.
In other words, they will work hard. And it will take time to achieve their goals. It won't happen quickly.
Don't be fooled by anything out there that says "Get rich quick!"
Get Rich Quick schemes will leave you broke. Remember the old saying "If it's too good to be true, it probably is."
Turn your attention to creating some very specific goals. Set your mind to achieving those goals and don't let anything prevent you from your goals. Ask yourself at every choice and decision you need to make, "Is this going to bring me closer to my goal who will it take me farther from my goal?"
Prepare to invest your time and effort into your achievements. And another thing - don't let anyone tell you that all you need is a positive mindset and you can have anything you want.
Bull. You cannot have ANYTHING you want with a positive mindset alone. A positive mindset has to be coupled with good old fashioned hard work to take you to your destination.
Those of you who feel you can become rich by simply "Expecting" to become rich are also living in a fantasy world and you're probably buying those "secret" books that are simply lying to you while taking your money. Congratulations, you just made the author rich but you didn't do a damn thing for yourself.
Get rich slowly. Work your butt off and find your uniqueness. Use that uniqueness in the betterment of others. Bill Gates & Steve Jobs discovered a way to make home computing simple and affordable. Look at the many benefits they have provided for others. They worked hard and now they are very wealthy.
That's just one example of what can be achieved. The formula for success is simple. It always will be.
Work.

Excuses

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."  ~Benjamin Franklin

Ever been handed a task that you did not accomplish? I'm willing to bet you have. Did you have a good excuse as to why you didn't get it done? I know you did.

Excuses. We all make them. I've made enough excuses to cover 20 lifetimes and not one of them erased the fact that I screwed up. None of them covered my failures. There wasn't a single excuse that brought me happiness, peace of mind or any form of success.

Looking back I recognize that for every excuse I made I was sabotaging my future growth, development and success in an effort to avoid a moment's discomfort or humiliation. Instead of fessing up to the truth of the matter I chose to basically lie about the situation by blaming some outside circumstance or individual for my failure to do what I was supposed to do. 

You can argue with me if you want but deep down you know I'm right. Making excuses is no different than lying.

We externalize our failures to justify our failures. We blame others and exaggerate our situations as a means of saying "See? It's not my fault."

And isn't that what it all boils down to? Personal Responsibility?

Fault finding will always be with us so long as we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions. As Michael Jordan said ""I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."

He didn't say "I've failed over and over and over again in my life but it wasn't my fault. The other guy was guarding me too close." No! He admitted his failures and yet in doing so, it kept him moving forward so that he could reach the the highest level of success possible.

If you want to be a person of honor, integrity; if you want to be successful in whatever you choose to pursue; if you want to be trusted, respected; if you want to be better than most others, you have to drop excuses from your life. Just accept the accept the fault, tell the truth about it and get over it.

Don't fall victim to the mentality of "It's not my fault." Sure, if you think hard enough, you can almost always come up with a good excuse but excuses only go so far. Eventually, you will have to face the fact that you wasted your life making excuses for your faults while others spent their life achieving great things despite their faults.

Remember my mantra; Your life is your fault. (I cannot take credit for coming up with that but I am a firm believer in it. Thank you Larry Winget!)

Every single choice and decision you make leads you to you. And wherever you go, there you are. In other words, you assume the risk and the responsibility for each and every task and endeavor you take on, and thus, here you are. This is where you are in life. If you wanted to be somewhere else, then that's where you would be. It's all on you. No excuse can ever justify the the failures or shortcomings of the individual who assumes personal responsibility. Those individuals simply learned that when you screw up, do what needs to be done to be fixed or forgiven and move on towards your goal.

Do you want to be remembered for making great excuses or do you want to be remembered for being great?

Tommy

Listen Up

“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” - Andre Gide

Are you a good listener? How much listening do you do in a day? If there is any common sense to derive from the practice of listening it’s this; you have two ears and one mouth. Therefore, you should listen twice as much as you speak.
Pretty straight forward stuff but I can’t believe how much people just love to talk. Ever been in a conversation where it seemed like a contest as to who could get the next word in the quickest? Before you knew it the conversation wasn’t really a conversation but more like a game of “Slap Jack”, each person so anxious to slam their point down before the other.
Listening is a lost art form. Listening is crucial to the betterment and enrichment of friendships and relationships. Does not Common Sense cry out and say Shut Up when your friend or spouse is hurting and all they need is someone to listen to them? Oh, but no! When someone is hurting, that’s our cue to begin spewing forth our “Wisdom” and set them straight. We think to ourselves “Here is my chance to show someone else how much I know!” So we interrupt their broken-hearted state of being and tell them exactly what they need to do to fix their problem. But does it ever occur to us that they don’t want their problem fixed?  They simply want someone to listen to them. That’s it.
I can’t think of one time where I heard someone say “Man I can’t stand that guy. You see how much he listens?”
Listening is a sign of respect. When we listen to others, and God forbid, when we have to patiently listen to others, we are showing them how much we respect them. If you are the kind of person who cannot allow others to speak their peace without interrupting them, you do not respect others. Listening could be the one last piece of evidence that we have (or had) a civilized culture.
As I have said many a time, there is nothing new here. My job is not to come up with new stuff in the realm of self-improvement. My job is to remind you of the old stuff that works. Listening works. Not only does it breed respect and show others how much you care, but it leads to success, peace of mind and it just feels good to remove the pressure of having to get the last word in on every conversation.
Going to work? Better learn to listen. Your boss is not likely to promote you because you like to run your mouth all day. Your boss wants to know that you only need to be told once and once only as to what is expected from you. You can’t learn anything when you’re talking!
Want a successful marriage? Better learn to listen. You and your spouse are likely to disagree on matters more often than you agree but if you feel you need to prove yourself to be right with your many words; your marriage will more than likely dissolve.
Want a great relationship with your kids. Oh my God, you need to listen to them. Just because you’re the parent doesn’t mean they don’t have anything important to say. All too often I see parents who treat their kids like second class citizens who don’t deserve to be heard. Your kids, no matter how young, are entitled to your closed mouth and open ears.
Want to stop having to do everything over and over and over again? Shut up, listen and learn. If you find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over again it’s quite possible you haven’t taken the time to shut the trap and open the holes on the sides of your head. Listen to some good advice. Ask questions but be willing to listen to answers. Go back to the old stuff that works. Just start listening and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can correct your mistakes. Even better, you’ll notice that you make fewer mistakes!
“Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise: and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” – Proverbs 17:28 (American King James Version)

Tommy