Friday, April 1, 2011

What's Your Problem?

Have you ever found yourself saying things like “If I had more money I wouldn’t have any problems.” “If I wasn’t overweight I wouldn’t have any problems.” “If I was better looking I wouldn’t have these problems.”
Admit it, you have. Maybe you haven’t phrased your woes in the exact same words, but you have had your pity parties. You have thought that your problems are unique only to you and no one has it as bad as you do.

Let me be the first one to enlighten you. EVERYONE has problems. Just because someone is rich doesn’t mean they don’t have any problems. They just have problems with more money in their bank account. Just because someone is thin doesn’t mean they don’t have any problems. They just have problems with fewer calories. And just because a person may be a supermodel it doesn’t mean they don’t have any problems.  They have problems. But they look good with their problems.
We all have problems. You have problems, I have problems. It’s inevitable that you will experience problems. Call me a pessimist, but I think I’m pretty much dead on here.
And for those of you, who feel compelled to tell us that our problems are really just opportunities, please, keep those kinds of remarks to yourself. Optimism has its place, but when you meet someone who has just lost their job and the best you can do is tell them it’s an opportunity for them to grow and become a better person, holy crap! Shut up and put your money where your mouth is. You would be doing them a greater service in buying them some groceries or watching their kids for a couple of hours so they can go out on a Job Interview.
Problems exist for all of us and while I won’t get so radical as to say they are opportunities, I will say they are great motivators. Once you get over the initial shock of a problem having surfaced in your life, you need to find a way to fix the mess. In doing so, I guarantee you will have learned a lesson or two along the way.
Problems have a way of drawing out abilities and skills from us that we may have never knew we had. If you don’t have an immediate ability or skill in answer to your problems then you need to get busy. A Crash-Course in problem solving is in order. Go to the library and check out some books on the matter. Look on the internet, call a friend, a parent, a grand-parent. There are so many sources of information available to us, (many that are free) I just can’t buy it when someone tells me their life is such a mess and there’s nothing they can do.
As I write this, I have a problem of my own. My toilet is leaking. I know, I know, it isn’t exactly a life altering, life changing issue here, but I am not a plumber and I am not an expert in Toilet Repair. But to me, it’s a problem. The way I see it, I have two options. I can find someone who can fix it for me or I can do it myself. I am opting to do it myself. Know why? Because I want to learn from this problem. It’s not an opportunity but it is definitely motivating me to learn something new. And I might just be able to learn how to prevent the problem from happening again.
Problems arise for many reasons. Sometimes they are the result of our bad decisions. Sometimes they aren’t even our fault. But they are always our responsibility.
It’s our ability to deal with problems that ultimately determines our level of peace, happiness and success in life. If you’re the type of person who has a complete temper tantrum and meltdown whenever a problem surfaces, you probably aren’t experiencing a lot of peace and success in life. 

You have to be realistic about your problems and determine just how big (or small) they really are. Is your assessment of the problem factual or fantasy? Being realistic about your problem takes away the emotional connection and treats it like a business transaction. Remember, it will take work to fix your problem.
Don’t fall into denial here folks. Ignoring a problem will not make it go away. It just doesn’t happen like that. And if I’m the first one to tell you this, congratulations. Here’s you first “opportunity” for self-improvement. Accept your problem for what it is. Be it financial, health, relationship or business, you will need to take action and face your problem.
Problems will come and problems will go, but it is your ability to deal with your problems that will ultimately contribute to your overall success.
“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.” - Horace

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